Smoking has gotten a bad rep. People say it causes disease and pollutes the environment. Governments are banning smoking in public areas, releasing anti-smoking campaigns and increasing the price of cigarettes every year. Heck, they even put those health warnings on cigarette packs to ‘scare’ people.
But really, does smoking deserve all the flak it’s getting? After all, with millions and millions of people lighting up worldwide, there must surely be SOME benefits to smoking, right? Right??
We researched high and low, interviewed smokers, and managed to compile a list of why smoking is, er, ‘awesome’. Sort of.
It makes you look ‘cool’
If your idea of ‘cool’ is being wrapped in a smoky aura of mystery and nonchalance, then puff away. You could even imagine yourself like a god descending from above on a cloud.
It helps you stay slim
Nicotine in cigarettes suppresses your appetite, which is why many smokers are thin. Isn’t that great? No more fussy diets and expensive gym memberships!
You get to flash your million-dollar medical card
Some people say that health insurance is expensive and unnecessary, but not if you’re a smoker! Millions of people have at least one disease caused by smoking. Smoking causes many types of cancers, COPD, heart disease, artery damage and worsens conditions like asthma and diabetes. So if you’re a smoker, get ready for (many) visits to your favourite hospital 😉
You get to show how brave you are
Smoking kills 6 million people every year. In fact, half of all smokers will die of a tobacco related disease. Does that scare you? Of course not! We are all going to die anyway. When Death does come, you’ll take a final puff and blow smoke in its face. #yolo
You don’t need sex
Smoking can cause impotence and infertility. SO WHAT? Sex is overrated and babies are irritating. You’ll have the chance to practise monk-like self-control and patience. Plus, imagine all those sexually-transmitted diseases you will avoid.
It shows how much money you have
The price of cigarettes went up yet again? Good! You can demonstrate your earning power by continuing to puff away without a care in the world. The ladies will surely be impressed.
It creates jobs
From manufacturing to sales, some 100 million people are employed by the tobacco industry worldwide. Every pack you buy helps support the economy. Instead of giving you dirty looks, people should be thanking you for your smoky efforts.
You get to die young
On average, smokers die 13 – 14 years earlier than non-smokers. That’s ok because who wants to live till 90 and hobble around with no teeth. At least by ‘checking out’ early, you’ll still look young enough for one last selfie.
It’s like yoga
Smoking requires deep breathing for maximum enjoyment. When you can feel the toxin-filled cigarette smoke travelling down your throat, deep into your body and setting your chest on fire, you know the yoga master will be impressed by your technique.
You become more compassionate
You know those drug addicts that society despises? Or obese people who can’t stop eating? As a smoker, you know what it’s like to have an addiction that is hard to break. This makes you less judgemental, and more patient and understanding. Really, smokers must be among the best people around.
You might get a free meal out of it
Ok, so maybe you’re a smoker who doesn’t think smoking is ‘awesome’. You know that this article is poking fun at your habit, and you don’t want to die of lung cancer and sex is important. Problem is, you’ve tried to quit before but relapsed. If this is the case, here are some creative ways to quit smoking for good:
1. Make a bet
Make a deal with another smoker to quit for a month. The first one to give in has to buy the other a meal.
2. Get hypnotized
Hypnotherapy may actually be more effective than other popular methods to quit smoking.
Some medical practitioners claim that acupuncture helps to suppress smoking cravings and eases withdrawal symptoms.
4. Drink baking soda
The not-so-awesome taste of baking soda mixed with water has helped some smokers kick the habit for good.
5. Have a heart attack
If all else fails, a heart attack caused by smoking may be just what the doctor ordered. If this doesn’t scare you into quitting, nothing else will!
But whether you smoke or not, it’s important to get protection, especially against cancer. The disease is affecting more people every year, and treatment costs can cause your life savings to go up in smoke. Check out this page for a FREE cancer quote, which comes with a 40% KFIT discount and FREE medical checkup worth RM299, all for only RM1.50 per day. Now, isn’t that awesome?